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The Forum is an international monthly publication of Al-Anon Family Groups, that offers help and hope for the families and friends of alcoholics.  Al-Anon and Alateen members share their challenges, insights, and progress along their path of self-discovery and spiritual growth.  The magazine also includes topics for discussion at meetings as well as news and information from Al-Anon's World Service Conference and World Service Office. To order your subscription click External link opens in new tab or windowHere


The following articles are reprinted from the March 2025 issue, with permission of  The Forum,

Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc.,Virginia Beach, VA


Awareness, Acceptance, and Action           by Madeline S.

When I arrived in Al-Anon, I had a limited ability to identify specific feelings.  I recognized anger and maybe sadness but had no clue about fear or shame.  I had no idea that shame was affecting my daily choices.  Overcoming and understanding my shame led me to the three As of Al-Anon - awareness, acceptance, and action.
     Gaining awareness of the deep shame I felt took years of working with Sponsors, attending meetings, reading Conference Approved Literature (CAL), and doing several Fourth Steps.  As a foster child, I grew up believing that something was fundamentally wrong with me (one definition of shame) because no one would adopt me.  One of my foster parents was a "dry drunk," and her comments about and to me reinforced the belief that no one wanted me.  I never shared this belief with anyone but carried it deep inside into my adult relationships and behaviours.  I married an alcoholic and finally found Al-Anon.  Slowly, over many years of working my program, I became aware of this deep shame.
     Acceptance has often been hard for me, but making a list of the behaviours that cause me shame and the people that trigger my shame is easier today.  I can accept that I was ashamed of myself as well as of other people's behaviour.
     Action is still a work in progress.  Today, I identify my behaviours that are motivated by shame.  Perfectionism, blaming myself for everything, and people-pleasing are signals that
I am acting out of that old shameful habit.  I seek the help of my Higher Power and talk to my Sponsor and Al-Anon friends to clarify my thoughts.  I know that with acceptance and use of my Al-Anon tools, I can adjust my perspective and regain a balanced view of myself and my part in life's situations.

My Train       by Jane C.

My train headed nowhere at a very early age.  Before Al-Anon, my endless overthinking and self-will would take me to undesirable destinations.  In my new Al-Anon journey, I am learning to release those thoughts and not get on the train.  I no longer wait on the platform in my mind to board the train of thoughts.  My choices give me opportunities to seek different destinations.
     By working the program step by step, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.  My new destination is whatever road leads me to my Higher Power - a road well-traveled
"One Day at a Time" because of Al-Anon.  I am so grateful for my Sponsor's experience, strength, and hope.  With her support, I stopped going to the platform of my mind.  With her help I direct my attention and recovery towards helping others.  I look for service opportunities that use my experiences of recovery in Al-Anon.  My train of thought is in recovery
now and travels on a different track.  Thanks to Al-Anon, I'm traveling in a beautiful direction.

A Second Life      by Howard A.

I was introduced to Al-Anon shortly after my spouse had passed.  I was lost at the time, and the group accepted me just as I was.  It took time to understand the Al-Anon principles found in the Steps and Traditions, but over time I was changing into a different person.  I never felt pushed into anything.
     It took me a year to volunteer to chair a meeting.  Now, I am the Secretary of my home group and involved in public outreach.  I enjoy the sense of family that I feel at every meeting.  It is such a great feeling to be accepted as I am and to try to give back in gratitude for all that Al-Anon has given me.  I have been given a new outlook on life, and I have found my Higher Power and a new self-confidence to do more things that I ever did before.  Al-Anon has changed my life for the better, and I am happy it did.  It has connected me to all the people in my circle whom I now call friends.