The Forum             

The Forum is an international monthly publication of Al-Anon Family Groups, that offers help and hope for the families and friends of alcoholics.  Al-Anon and Alateen members share their challenges, insights, and progress along their path of self-discovery and spiritual growth.  The magazine also includes topics for discussion at meetings as well as news and information from Al-Anon's World Service Conference and World Service Office. To order your subscription click Here

The following articles are reprinted from the September 2025 issue, with permission of  The Forum,

Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc.,Virginia Beach, VA

Desperate To Change      by Anonymous.

I once read that 80% of people make changes out of desperation, while only 20% change due to inspiration.  When I attended my first Al-Anon meeting, I was certainly not inspired to change - I was desperate.  The truth is that pain can be a great motivator for change.  I cannot say that change was easy for me, nor did it happen overnight.  Week after week, attending Al-Anon meetings, I found myself seeking the camaraderie, friendship, and serenity I gained from our group.

     It wasn't just the people I met, the wonderful slogans I heard (they do make a difference), the shared stories, and the tears we all shed that kept me coming back.  While those were invaluable, it was the reconnection to my Higher Power that "sealed the deal".  I remember crying at the end of my first meeting when our meeting chair led the closing, saying, "Who loves us?"  I had not felt the love of my Higher Power in years, but now I felt a bond with God that I looked forward to each week.

     Today I "Keep Coming Back" to the "club."  I jokingly say, "No one wants to be a member at first, but somehow we are glad we are now."  I continue to grow into the person I desire to become while also helping those new to Al-Anon find hope when there seems to be none.  Pain in life is unavoidable, but suffering is optional.  Al-Anon has brought me the peace and serenity I desperately sought simply because I kept coming back.  After all, I'm worth it!

Keep Coming Back       by Kathleen O.

At one of my first Al-Anon meetings, a member shared that a reading helped to clear up her thinking - like cleaning off a dirty windshield.  She felt she had gained some clarity.  When I came to Al-Anon 15 years ago, I was in a fog of denial.  Even though there was alcoholism on both sides of my family, I smugly believed I came from a "perfect" family.  I chose to blame our son's active alcoholism on my husband's family.

     When I told my doctor about the troubles our son was having, he recommended Al-Anon.  I went reluctantly, and I chose a meeting an hour from my hometown.  I felt embarrassed and ashamed!  I kept going back to meetings and gained a clearer perspective on alcoholism and the part I play in this family illness.

     Every day, I kept going back to the Al-Anon readers.  Every week, I attended meetings.  I learned that I was there for myself, not for my son or others' problems.  My distorted thinking began to clear up, and I gained a clearer perspective.  And I kept coming back!

     I struggled with finding a Sponsor.  Eventually, an Al-Anon friend and I decided to work the Twelve steps together.  And we did!  Step One taught me I am not in control of alcohol or other people.  I am only in charge of myself and the choices I make about my attitudes and behaviours.  My vision sharpened as I faced this reality and acquired the spiritual principles of honesty and acceptance.  I kept coming back.

     Members recommended service work, and I gave it a try.  I pushed through social fears to share at meetings.  Next, I volunteered to lead meetings.  Helping to organize Family Recovery Nights, alongside other Al-Anon and AA members, was both fun and rewarding.  Service work helps me learn how to cooperate with others in a healthy, non-domineering way.

     After all these years, I am grateful I kept coming back to see what I couldn't see without Al-Anon's help.

Lessening My Character Defects      by Kimberly R.

Growing up around alcoholism, I learned to read rooms and to take on others' feelings and opinions.  Drama and gossip felt comfortable.  I have carried these character defects with me most of my life, passing on my judgments and negative behaviours to others.  Three years ago, I started attending Al-Anon meetings and working the Steps with a Sponsor.  I learned about my character defects of being defensive and prideful.  Those defects caused me so much pain.  I owe an amends to myself, to love myself.  With the assistance of God and my Sponsor, my confidence has grown, lessening my character defects.  If I'm not careful, I can slip back into my old ways by taking on others' opinions.  I can easily entertain irrational thoughts because it feels familiar, and my family is comfortable living in the drama.

     Today, I have choices, and it is getting better.  I might take the bait for a moment, then walk away with a closed mouth.  I hope that as my confidence grows stronger, I will have the courage to verbally decline participating in the conversation.  With Al-Anon, I have choices. I will gently remind myself that what someone else thinks of me is none of my business, and I can "Let Go and Let God."