The Forum             

The Forum is an international monthly publication of Al-Anon Family Groups, that offers help and hope for the families and friends of alcoholics.  Al-Anon and Alateen members share their challenges, insights, and progress along their path of self-discovery and spiritual growth.  The magazine also includes topics for discussion at meetings as well as news and information from Al-Anon's World Service Conference and World Service Office. To order your subscription click Here

The following articles are reprinted from the January 2025 issue, with permission of  The Forum,

Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc.,Virginia Beach, VA

The Power of We         by Gina B.

     When I first came to Al-Anon via electronic meetings just over a year ago, I thought I was all ready for Step One.  I knew I was powerless over alcohol and that my life had become unmanageable.  But it took attending many meetings and studying the Steps before it dawned on me - the word "I" was not anywhere in Step One.

     The Step reads: "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol..." We, not I.

     For the first time in a long time, I realized I was not alone.  At each meeting, I was surrounded by others who knew, in one way or another, exactly what I was experiencing.  They too had loved ones who struggled with the disease of alcoholism, and they too suffered because of their loved ones' disease.

     Others like me have felt isolated, scared, and anxious, worried about what would become of their loved ones if they could not recover from this disease.  Desperate for answers and relief and a place to share my fear and pain, I began to attend two online meetings a week, then three, then four, and sometimes more.  No matter which ones I went to, no matter what time of day or evening, no matter what country, the message was consistent: I was not alone.

     Every step is a "we" step.  Knowing that we are all in this together - that we are a family of Al-Anon members, all looking for answers, all seeking strength and hope - has given me exactly that: strength and hope.  Today, a year after coming into the virtual Al-Anon rooms, I have more peace and serenity than I ever dreamed possible.  I found a wonderful Sponsor who gently guides and encourages me.  I am working the Steps, reading my literature every day, and greeting every morning with the Serenity Prayer.

     But my greatest source of strength has been my Al-Anon family, the wonderful people who show up at meetings to listen, share, and do service to help themselves and others find recovery.  And that is why I "Keep Coming Back."

I "Keep Coming Back" for Myself       by Russ B.

I first started attending Al-Anon meetings in a desperate attempt to learn how to help my brother find sobriety.  My life was unmanageable in that I didn't know how to get him to seek help, and I was powerless over the control alcohol had over him.

     In that first meeting, I heard the phrase "family disease," and the dots of my own life began connecting.  I was raised, along with my sister and brother, in an alcoholic family.  So many things started to make sense.  I would say that neither I nor my siblings have had a healthy relationship with alcohol, and now my brother has the disease.

     I realize now how greatly my life has been affected by this disease.  Things like lack of confidence, isolation, being withdrawn, fear of speaking up, and being competitive are just a few of the traits that can be at least partially explained by my childhood in alcoholism.  Today, I don't blame my father for this, because that doesn't change anything.  I am the person I am today, and recognizing that the family disease of alcoholism contributed to that brings me some peace.

     I was first drawn to Al-Anon to find out how to help my brother, but I "Keep Coming Back" to help myself.

Step One: Embracing My Powerlessness     by Theresa B.

This Step is easy to say but hard to apply.  I didn't come into Al-Anon thinking I was powerless over alcohol.  I remember wanting to pour the alcohol down the drain but not having the courage to do so because of the money that was spent on it.  I thought about saying a lot of things, but if there was pushback, I would stop to avoid confrontation.  I did, ,however, know that my life had become unmanageable.  I was coping with my life in an unhealthy way.

     Once the drinking stopped, I began to see just how unmanageable my life had become.  I placed more effort into maintaining the illusion of control than into getting to know myself.  I was overfilled with emotions inside but was not able to express them outwardly.

     Over time, things have become more manageable.  I have learned the difference between my responsibility and that of others.  I no longer try to control others' responsibilities.  Today, I can freely admit my powerlessness without experiencing any pain.  I am grateful for Al-Anon and what I have learned, and I keep revisiting Step One because it helps me stay on track with being true to myself.

Phone Contacts Support the Newcomer    by Scot P.

Growing up in the family disease of alcoholism, I developed the survival tactic of being a chameleon.  Whether it was blending in with cliques at school or trying to be invisible at home, I learned very quickly that this was an effective way to avoid trouble.  Unfortunately, this behaviour evolved into some social anxiety.

     Even in social groups that I am comfortable with, if I'm the least bit late, I find it very difficult to drum up the courage to go in.  What if they call me out for being late" What if I trip over my feet while walking through the door?  That would be humiliating, and the possible short-term reward of fun social interaction does not outweigh my anxiety about being permanently embarrassed.

     At my first meeting, members suggested that I attend six meetings to determine if Al-Anon was right for me and find a group that felt comfortable, and I committed to their guidance.  The next meeting I attended was held in a hospital.  I remember asking the front desk for directions.  What they told me seemed overwhelming, and I felt the anxiety of thinking, I am going to get lost and show up late and what will they think of me?  I thanked the hospital volunteer and turned around to walk out the door.

     As I turned, a member from the meeting walked in and asked if I was there for the meeting.  I almost said no.  But then I felt the immediate reassurance of being with someone who knew where they were going.  I knew I wouldn't get lost, and everything would be okay.  Attending this second meeting gave me the courage to find four others to visit before I decided to make the first meeting my home group.

     When potential newcomers call the World Service Office's toll-free meeting line, oftentimes they request the contact information for the meeting near them.  Each meeting has one or two members assigned to be "Phone Contacts for the Public."  This service role is an opportunity to be there for the newcomer, answer their questions, meet them outside the meeting location, and even walk in with them, so they don't have to face this alone.

     I am so grateful to that member for walking in when she did, because I have since been able to enjoy a life of recovery.  I don't want to think about where my life would be without this program.  Today, service as the Phone Contact for my group gives me the chance to be that support for the next person coming in.  I do struggle with answering a call from a phone number I don't recognize, but I remember that if I don't answer their call, they just might not walk in the door.