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The Forum is an international monthly publication of Al-Anon Family Groups, that offers help and hope for the families and friends of alcoholics.  Al-Anon and Alateen members share their challenges, insights, and progress along their path of self-discovery and spiritual growth.  The magazine also includes topics for discussion at meetings as well as news and information from Al-Anon's World Service Conference and World Service Office. To order your subscription click External link opens in new tab or windowHere


The following  articles are reprinted from the October 2024 issue, with permission of  The Forum,

Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc.,Virginia Beach, VA


Comfort in a Rough Place         by Charley B.

"You are in a rough place right now," my Sponsor said as we walked together before our meeting.  I had asked him to meet me 30 minutes early to help me find some firm ground.  My brother had died four days earlier, and my partner was spiraling into a drunken bottom of her own.  Violence and chaos dominated my home life.  Neither I nor my son felt safe in our home.  I just wanted space for our shared grief and could find none.  Even though I'd been in Al-Anon eight years, I now found myself facing a new version of this baffling, cunning, and powerful disease at a time when I had no emotional energy to cope with it.
     Still, my Sponsor's simple words helped me find a little light and brought together all I had learned in Al-Anon.  Tradition Five states that Al-Anon's one purpose is "to help families of alcoholics" by welcoming and comforting them.
     He welcomed me into the conversation by setting aside time on short notice to meet early.  I mattered to him.  He let me share what I was facing, just like we do at our meetings, without interruption.  I rambled and cried, and he just let me.  I felt comforted by his listening.  He heard my pain and responded with how he saw me: "You are..." But he did not give me advice or tell me what to do.  His quiet comfort gave me a little power in a situation where I felt powerless.  I felt less alone, too - a key reason why we "Keep Coming Back" to our meetings.
     At the time, I did not realize that his last two words were also crucial; "right now."  That period of time felt like forever while it was happening.  It was overwhelming to feel so much all at once.  But feelings aren't facts.  My Sponsor knew my feelings would pass eventually.  They did.  It wasn't easy, but I bounced back better because of my program and its purpose of "welcoming and giving comfort to families of alcoholics."

Al-Anon "Is" the Place for Me       by Michael M.

Some people can remember the exact date they first came to an Al-Anon meeting.  I do not.  I remember, though, the exact situation that caused me to follow through on actually walking into my first meeting.  It was the day I had to drive my son to the center of town, tell him that he could no longer live at home, and drop him off.  He seemed far more at ease with this than I felt.  As I drove off, his parting look seemed to imply, "What took you so long?"
     I was warmly welcomed to my first meeting and every meeting thereafter, yet I was always questioning whether I really belonged.  Every time the meeting leader would ask if there were any newcomers, I would start to raise my hand, then tell myself, Stop! Don't raise your hand.  This is your fourth, twelfth, sixteenth meeting.
     Honestly, it was only after I'd been to quite a few meetings that I finally listened closely and actually heard the final sentence of Tradition Three: "The only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend."  At that point, I was finally able to relax and feel that, yes, if that is all that is required, I actually do belong here, and this is the place for me.
     I also learned how important it is to actually listen carefully to the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions each time they are read, as I never know when a Higher Power will allow me to hear something in a new way that will bring me closer to self-understanding and that slippery idea of serenity.

New Beginnings, New Hopoe, New Choices     by Rosemarie B.

How many beginnings do I have in my life?  As the world changes, as I change, opportunities for new beginnings appear.  Accepting that change is a fact and areality has certainly helped me in my recovery.

     It took time - months, even years of weekly Al-Anon meetings in my rural town before I recognized how powerless I was to change the person I loved and realized I was trying to control his behaviour.  I wanted him to have the same dreams I had and to want the same family happiness I wanted.  I had thought that I could accomplish this dream if I just prayed with all my heart and studied my religious scriptures.  I believed we could be happy if he changed.
     Then came Al-Anon.  Step One says, "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable."  This is written in the past tense.  Something has already changed.  I am looking back.  I am standing on the first Step.
     As I continued in the Al-Anon program, each Step I worked on brought me to a new view from a higher position.  Over time, as I studied each Step, I finally got to a place where I could "see the future."  I saw new hope and discovered new choices.  Now I love waking up to each new day.  It may be the usual routine or hold some new experience. 
But Steps One, Two, and Three always bring renewed hope and new possibilities as I apply them to my life today.