The Forum             

The Forum is an international monthly publication of Al-Anon Family Groups, that offers help and hope for the families and friends of alcoholics. Al-Anon and Alateen members share their challenges, insights, and progress along their path of self-discovery and spiritual growth. The magazine also includes topics for discussion at meetings as well as news and information from Al-Anon's World Service Conference and World Service Office. To order your subscription click HERE.

The following articles are reprinted from the February 2026 issue, with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, VA

A Multigenerational Disease

I came to Al-Anon because of my daughter’s struggle with alcohol and prescription drugs. I thought Al‑Anon would give me the answers to solve this problem for her. Instead, it has shown me how I have contributed to this situation by trying to fix, control, carry, hide, deny, and obsess over my daughter’s problems.

Attending Al-Anon meetings helped me look at myself and try to figure out how I developed these patterns. My grandfather was an alcoholic, and all my life, I have heard from my mother how awful it was. I can see control, negativity, pessimism, anxiousness, and perfectionism in my mother. I now realize she adopted these traits to cope with her upbringing.

I am beginning to understand how this has affected me and shaped who I am today. I have struggled with anxiety and depression; I am hard on myself and set unrealistically high expectations for myself. I can see now how my traits have affected my daughter. I am starting to put all the pieces together, and I recognize this is a multigenerational disease.

By Lisa I.

The Forum, February 2026 

Facing My Struggles with Intimacy

Having grown up with alcoholism, I learned very early on that it was not safe to talk openly and honestly or to trust what people told me. To survive, I shut down and ignored or denied my feelings. Under those circumstances, it’s no surprise that by the time I found Al‑Anon, I had serious problems with letting anyone know the real me. Eventually, I didn’t even want to know who I was, which is why I put so much focus on everyone around me!

My struggles with intimacy didn’t magically vanish in Al‑Anon, but the program certainly increased my awareness of how little connectedness I felt with others. Every aspect of our fellowship helped me begin learning how to talk, trust, and feel. While no one insisted I speak at meetings, they gently encouraged me to share myself with them. For the first time in my life, I felt that there were people who wanted to listen to me. As they opened their hearts to me and shared intimately about their own lives, both in meetings and in one-on-one conversations, I began to trust them. My progress was slow (sometimes painfully so), but as I gradually began to reveal more of myself and no one at the meetings criticized or rejected me for it, my trust grew. Feeling my feelings took a little longer, but as I listened to others share their feelings, I began to relate.

One of the main reasons that Al‑Anon increases my ability to be intimate is that I’m not doing it in a vacuum, or in the case of my childhood, in an environment where intimacy was discouraged or mocked. Everyone else is learning to be intimate too. We’re all at different stages of growth, but that’s a plus. Those further along give me hope. Those just beginning the process remind me how far I’ve come and give me the opportunity to pass on the encouragement that I’ve already received.

My path to intimacy may have its ups and downs, but by practicing “Progress Not Perfection,” today I appreciate how connected I feel to the world I live in and to the people around me. It is so much better than I ever thought possible!

By Tom C.

The Forum, February 2026

I Found Out Who I Am

Growing up in an alcoholic family, I seemed to have lost my sense of self. I took on everyone’s feelings and lived my life according to their moods. My father was an alcoholic, and my mother was very busy taking care of him. In turn, I took care of all my younger siblings. I learned and took on the role of caretaker. That became my profession as well.

I married my best friend, whom I met at a high school dance. He was drunk, and I should have known then. Twelve years later, he confessed he had a drinking problem. At that point, I knew nothing about the disease of alcoholism.

As a child and young adult, I was so afraid to take risks. I simply followed instructions and did what I was told. So, when I was told to go to Al-Anon, I did. At this time, my husband had just left the treatment center. I was handed a card with someone’s name on it and a phone number. I called her. My phone felt like it weighed 500 pounds in that moment. She became my first Sponsor, and my journey into recovery began.

I stayed for the miracle. I began the journey of self-discovery. My Sponsor’s favorite word to describe me was “willing.” I was willing to do anything and to learn about this disease. Through this process I discovered who I am, what I want, and what I need. I learned about my passions and my true self. I continue to live the Steps by sponsoring, going to meetings, and reaching out to people on the phone. I accept life on life’s terms. I am at peace, experiencing serenity.

My dad was almost 12 years sober when he died. My husband, whom I chose to stay with, has 33 years of sobriety, just like me, “One Day at a Time.” My life is full, rich, and serene most of the time.

By Sarah O.

The Forum, February 2026